Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Fashion Horrors: The Mankini

WARNING: The following blog entry is not suitable for anyone and should not be viewed if you value your eyesite and whatever you ate for your last meal.

Stacey: Borat may or may not have started this fashion trend. Regardless, it has to stop. Before anymore innocent spandex is victimized or the eyes and souls of unsuspecting young women scarred forever.

Julie: I agree 100%. There is evil in our midst, people. And its name is [cue dramatic music] MANKINI.

Stacey: Cute women do NOT make this cool

Julie: She's touching him, she's touching him!! Her hand is right on his chest. I just threw up
a little in my mouth.

Stacey: Mankini-ing for a cause does not make this cool. (This guy did it for the polar bear plunge in New Zealand, in order to raise money for the special olympics. It's still not cool! No one-special or otherwise-wants to be linked to this mankini-strosity.)

Julie: Okay. Well, this answers my question about whether it looks better on guys with less body hair. Absolutely freaking not. I do appreciate his effort with the matching headband, though.

Stacey: Accessories are important.

Stacey: It is not appropriate for rugby games and is not a good way to show off your tattoos.

Julie: I'm scared if I comment, this guy will hunt me down and kill me.

Stacey: It doesn't add that certain something to your marathon wear.

Julie: Oh, man. I feel sorry for whoever had to run behind HIM.

Stacey: The beer is blushing, but there is nowhere to hide its shame. There is nowhere to hide from the mankini!! (Camping? Really? This guy thought Mankini was good camping attire?)

Julie: I like that he accesorized his mankini with what appears to be my grandmother's gold choker necklace. Although I can't get a very close look on this monitor . . . he could have also stolen it from an Egyptian mummy. Or a pimp.

Camping attire--perhaps he thought this would be a good way to keep wild animals away from his campsite?

Stacey: If I were a wild animal I would be scared.

Stacey: This may be the only suitable way to model the kini of manliness, but my eyes are still bleeding a little bit. How about you Julie?

Julie: Yeah . . . even with the clothing I still feel like I just lost a little piece of my soul I'll never get back.

Julie: So far this is the only instance of mankini that doesn't make me want to throw acid in my eyes. It's pretty hilarious, actually. Although technically I guess it's Jenny McCarthy's bikini , not a "real" mankini.

DISCLAIMER: Do not try this at home unless you are--well,Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey is the ONLY person who can get away with this.

Stacey: Amen. (Though my hubs looks pretty cute in my underwear...just kidding! Heh!)

Until next time!

Julie and Stacey


  1. I'm trying to figure out why most of these seem to be available in neon green. It really doesn't add to the ... okay, I was going to write "package" but I probably shouldn't.

  2. This might make me a perv or something but ... I kind of like it.

  3. Cool I remember the movie called Borat try also trousers for your style.