Wednesday, April 15, 2009

This Little Piggy Went to Prada

I wish I could take credit for the post title, but alas--that bit of cleverness is actually the name of a book by Amy Allen and Eun-kyung Kang. They've taken old-fashioned nursery rhymes and revamped them into a hilarious book with cool illustrations.

Which has nothing to do with anything except that a) I have to go to a baby shower on Thursday so I have cute baby gifts on the brain and b) it kind of, sort of, (not really) ties in with a subject Stacey and I have been talking about recently--"Baby Style."

Baby Style is simply the way you dress your baby/toddler/kid. Back in the olden days, there was no such thing. Cavemen kids wore animal skins; pioneer children dressed in burlap; 1970s and 80's kids were held hostage by maniacal cartoon animals known as Garanimals. This was not parental negligence, just a lack of options.

*Stacey breaking in here to say I have no idea what Garanimals are. I am so young and nubile and do not remember the 70's or early 80's *bats young and nubile eyelashes*

Now that's all changed. Today's babies/toddlers have as many fashion choices as adults. More, if you count accessories like pacifiers,

burp cloths (zebra stripe or cammo pattern?) disposable diapers (Elmo print or Mickey Mouse?), etc.

Of course, the poor hapless babies don't actually get to decide these things since they generally lack both credit cards and the ability to operate a motor vehicle. It's the Mommies (and sometimes Daddies), who buy this stuff. So "Baby Style" is really "Mommy Style." And that's where things can get tricky. Because Mom's don't necessarily dress their kids the way you would expect. But then again, sometimes they do. It's a very inexact science.

And now for our sparkling commentary . . .

Stacey: This is kind of cute, but a little rastah soccer bum.

Julie: It's the cap. The rest of it's cute, though. Of course, Gwen Stefani could dress her kids in plastic bags sewn together with hair and it would probably somehow look cool.

Julie: I'm pretty sure this qualifies as child abuse in some parts of the world.

Stacey: I think most Arkansan men would consider that outfit grounds to pull out a gun and shoot something.

Stacey: This might make me pull out a gun and shoot something. There's no need to go Bubba at such a tender age.

Julie: Hey! That's my nephew! Lucky for you my family doesn't love me--er, I mean, are too busy to read my blogs. Because I'm pretty sure he could kick your *&$, even though he's two. :)

Stacey: Oops...heh call!!!

Stacey: My eyeeeesss! The yellow, it blinds us!!!

Julie: Ha, ha, ha--this is cracking me up. I chose this pic because it reminds me of how I used to dress A when she was that age. Especially the bow. LOVE bows. The bigger, the better. I still make her wear them. (A being my 10 yr old daughter who I can't post photos of due to hyper-paranoia and too many episodes of Forensic Files/ColdCase Files/American Justice)

Stacey: I'm never doing commentary first. Ever. Again. I have footinmouthitis.

Stacey: If you want to get that prison-fabulous thing going early.

Julie: Does it come with a miniature guitar? Because that would be cool.

Stacey: Omg. Really. Skull and crossbones for baby? Isn't this a little goth-tastic? (Okay, so I'm lying. I LOVE this and would totally dress my baby in it if he were a girl. Look at the preshush little bow on her skull head!!)

Julie: I love this too! Of course, I would have to pair it with a matching skull hair bow.

Stacey: LOL!

Stacey: And I like this too. Monkey from Wizard of Oz! Brilliant....Um...and somewhere along the way I think I got distracted from the point. But then, I am the woman who spent Easter dressing her baby up as a chicken:

Stacey: I had the chicken outfit and it was too rainy to hunt eggs outside and...yeah...I think I may have a problem...

Julie: OMG, you didn't.

Except you totally did. Although he does look adorable . . . do we even want to know why you just happened to have a chicken outfit laying around your house? LOVE the flying monkey.

Until next time!


Stacey and Julie

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Fashion Horrors: The Mankini

WARNING: The following blog entry is not suitable for anyone and should not be viewed if you value your eyesite and whatever you ate for your last meal.

Stacey: Borat may or may not have started this fashion trend. Regardless, it has to stop. Before anymore innocent spandex is victimized or the eyes and souls of unsuspecting young women scarred forever.

Julie: I agree 100%. There is evil in our midst, people. And its name is [cue dramatic music] MANKINI.

Stacey: Cute women do NOT make this cool

Julie: She's touching him, she's touching him!! Her hand is right on his chest. I just threw up
a little in my mouth.

Stacey: Mankini-ing for a cause does not make this cool. (This guy did it for the polar bear plunge in New Zealand, in order to raise money for the special olympics. It's still not cool! No one-special or otherwise-wants to be linked to this mankini-strosity.)

Julie: Okay. Well, this answers my question about whether it looks better on guys with less body hair. Absolutely freaking not. I do appreciate his effort with the matching headband, though.

Stacey: Accessories are important.

Stacey: It is not appropriate for rugby games and is not a good way to show off your tattoos.

Julie: I'm scared if I comment, this guy will hunt me down and kill me.

Stacey: It doesn't add that certain something to your marathon wear.

Julie: Oh, man. I feel sorry for whoever had to run behind HIM.

Stacey: The beer is blushing, but there is nowhere to hide its shame. There is nowhere to hide from the mankini!! (Camping? Really? This guy thought Mankini was good camping attire?)

Julie: I like that he accesorized his mankini with what appears to be my grandmother's gold choker necklace. Although I can't get a very close look on this monitor . . . he could have also stolen it from an Egyptian mummy. Or a pimp.

Camping attire--perhaps he thought this would be a good way to keep wild animals away from his campsite?

Stacey: If I were a wild animal I would be scared.

Stacey: This may be the only suitable way to model the kini of manliness, but my eyes are still bleeding a little bit. How about you Julie?

Julie: Yeah . . . even with the clothing I still feel like I just lost a little piece of my soul I'll never get back.

Julie: So far this is the only instance of mankini that doesn't make me want to throw acid in my eyes. It's pretty hilarious, actually. Although technically I guess it's Jenny McCarthy's bikini , not a "real" mankini.

DISCLAIMER: Do not try this at home unless you are--well,Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey is the ONLY person who can get away with this.

Stacey: Amen. (Though my hubs looks pretty cute in my underwear...just kidding! Heh!)

Until next time!

Julie and Stacey