As promised, this week we're sharing tips on how to look fabulous in your very own ZIT dress!! It's so easy! By following just two simple rules, you can wear your undead fashion for anything from running out to the grocery store to elegant black tie affairs.
Rule Number One: When wearing a ZIT dress it is imperative that you channel your inner zombie.
And what does channeling your inner zombie entail, you ask?Consider this-- When zombies claw their way out of their cozy coffins and stagger around terrorizing innocent townspeople, do they seem at all self-conscious about little things like their decaying flesh, or worm-infested eyes, or putrid aroma?
No way! They OWN their rotting corpses. They're not secretly worrying about whether their disintegrating funeral shroud makes their butt look big while they're sucking somebody's brains out. They're in the moment. And that's what you have to do when wearing a ZIT dress--own it! Don't worry about what the innocent townspeople are saying behind your back.
Rule Number Two: Pretend you are a beauty queen.
Yes, I'm serious.
No, I don't mean run out and slather heorrhoid cream under your eyes and duct tape your boobs together (although if either of those two things sound appealing to you, go for it). I'm talking about projecting a beauty queen's attitude. It's similar to channeling your inner zombie except with less blood and guts and more Aqua Net. Because channeling your inner zombie requires a certain amount of "screw off" attitude, which can be off-putting if not tempered by a little dose of happy-happy sweetness.
That's where your secret beauty queen comes in. Don't try to pretend you don't have one. You do. I promise. So when wearing your ZIT dress, take it out, throw your shoulders back, smile big, and flounce around like Miss America. (A sparkly tiara helps too)Otherwise, you're likely to come off as angry-creepy-goth girl, and that's no fun. Unless, of course, you want to be angry-creepy-goth girl, but that's an entirely different blog subject.
Perfect Example: Miley Cyrus (aka "the bane of my existence because I have a 10 year old daughter") Miley demonstrates a fabulous blend of inner zombie and inner beauty queen in this frothy violet concoction.
So, don't wait for Halloween, people! Break out those hacked up gowns now! Hmmn, Stacey, that gives me an idea . . . perhaps we should arrange a ZIT photo contest of some sort??